Hey, where were you when he crashed?
by Canned Tins
Summary: A Cars 3 prediction or AU. Not just McQueen's thoughts during his crash, but everyone else, too. Written in a Joyce-esque way on purpose. One chapter is written entirely in Google-translated Italian, so beware.
1. This seems awfully familiar

Oh my Ford I'm crashing. I can't believe I'm actually.

Crashing oh god it hurts. It hurts so much oh.

Oh Doc.

If only you were here oh god I know how it feels now doc can you hear me doc?

I feel it, Doc. Doc?

Doc.

Doc Hudson!

I'm crashing!

Doc! Sally! Mater!

I'm crashing.

I can't see a thing.

Ow. Ow ow ow owowowowowow. Wow that's painful. Wow. Pretty sure I'm on fire. I can hear a lot of things. Ambulance. Screaming. I can smell. Oil. Fire. Ow.

Sally, are you there? It's okay. I think I'll be alive.

If doc could survive it I might too.

Doc.

Doc.

Doc I crashed.

Doc?

Oh Ford. King. King I. Crashed. Chick Hicks, even you.

I crashed. Isn't he part of the racing sports network?

Jeepus Chrysler. He's going to make fun of my crash. Is he? I don't know. I haven't seen him in years.

Oh god. It hurts.

Ow.

Doc. It hurts.

Doc.

Aaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh hhhhhhhhh h


	2. Joke's on you

hahahahahah oh my ford he crashed hahahahah he hahah eh he crashed? he crashed?

sally is that true? Is it what im seeing here? do i have to help him? do i? do i? do i? do i?

doc isnt here anymore he cant fix him but maybe ramone can right? right? right?

hahahahaha. a funny joke. reminds me of. tractor tipping.

Would we ever tip tractors again. oh. frank.

...not funny. mcqueen. mcqueen my buddy. friend. my best friend is out there and im. not?

im not? no? dadgum!

its not a tall tale anymore. oh ford i wont be able to tell him my stories. will he even remember them? will he?

...it shoulda been me, haha.

hahahahahahahaha. hahahaha. hahaha. haha.

ha. thats not funny.


	3. Holy Porsche

No.

No.

No.

I...no.

Why?

Doc, why?

Why?

...I can't believe it. I refuse to accept it. I...I can't.

He couldn't have crashed. No. No, he couldn't.

Must be a trick of the mind. That...happens. E-especially at night, right?

Everyone's crying. I can hear them.

Me too.

Oh, Ford.

Please, Ford, keep him alive...

...I...


	4. È colpa mia

Qualunque cosa sta succedendo qui. Non va bene.

È colpa mia. Ero troppo veloce con le gomme.

No. Mi sono dimenticato.

Egli non è una Ferrari.

Solo una macchina americana.

Ho tenuto le gomme sciolto. Oh, aspetta.

...Voleva essere veloce. Come sempre.

Ma è ancora colpa mia.


	5. Trippin'

Man. What am I looking at?

That's...warped, man.

S-Sarge, you don't look so good, man.

Man. Bad trip. Real bad trip.

...I didn't put in enough oil, did I? No. It's all organic. Couldn't have been it.

No. No way. I must be tripping, man.

Sarge? Sarge? You look about to faint, man. Sarge?


	6. June 6, 1944

Oh. Oh. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.

Yes boss yes boss yes. Yes, boss. No, boss. He blew up. Right on the minefield. Dodge-ram Germans. Dodge-ram it!

He's checked out, boss. Bit the dust.

Mayday. Mayday. SOS.

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

SOS SOS SOS SOS

DODGE-RAM GERMANS!


	7. Silence can be deafening

...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


	8. Do I know you?

Stanley. Stanley Stanley Stanley Stanley Stanley Stanley.

Stanley. Oh, someone had an accident? Stanley. Stanley...

Stanley.

I miss Stanley.

Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Stanley.

...Who are you? What are you doing here?


	9. Lower and slower

Hijole!

That's going to hurt!

Flo, do you see this?! Oh Ford almighty! He's a big mess! Oh Ford! No!

Flo, it's okay! It'll be okay! The doctors will patch him up and I can give him a new paintjob and everything it's okay don't cry!

Oh. Mi corazon. No. Don't cry.

He'll be okay. I promise. I triple-dodge ram promise.

I'm sorry. I'll...I'll help him. He'll get better. I know you trust me, right?

Oh, baby, I hate seeing you cry...


	10. Sorry, we're closed!

No!

No!

No!

Oh, I knew racing was dangerous. Oh, goodness. This is Doc all over again.

Why...

I'm...speechless.

Poor thing. I'm...why...

Thank Ford Doc isn't here.

Who knows...how he'd have reacted.


	11. Out with the old, in with the new

"Enjoy your retirement" has just become "enjoy your own funeral", hasn't it?

You'll be joinin' all your friends in the great scrapyard, it seems.

A pity, really. Woulda loved to race against ya another time.

Heh.

...Old man. I was just kiddin'. You're not actually...going to die, right?

I mean, I'll still get the trophy this time, obviously.

You're just a has-been.

I really hope you ain't dead. Just retired.

...Enjoy your retirement?


	12. Thunder comes after

WHAT'S THIS?

HAHAHAHA! HE...CRASHED?

HAHAHA. WOW. HAHA.

WOW, HE FINALLY DID IT. HE. CRASHED.

THUNDER COMES AFTER LIGHTNING. THUNDER COMES AFTER. LIGHTNING. AFTER. LIGHTNING.

REMEMBER WHEN I CRASHED THE KING? THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! THIS IS. IT?

HEY DARRELL. DARRELL. BOB. YOU SEEIN' THIS? LIGHTNING MCQUEEN FINALLY CRASHED! IT TOOK HIM SEVEN TROPHIES!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

Oh dear.


	13. The crux

McQueen? He what?!

No! It can't have been! No! He couldn't have crashed! Though he's come close multiple times...

Oh my Ford. That looks terrible.

Just like...Hudson, right? The Fabulous Hudson Hornet...

Oh, Ford, please, let me help you.

I can help you race.

I've been watching you race since I was a tot.

Been my dream to work alongside you. Now's my chance.

...Please survive, I know you can. Please...


End file.
